My year in Europe started in September 2021
Started by me dragging my dad 20 years old suitcase, with luggage full of foods, small pockets money that I have been saving from years of work, and with a little prayer that I will not get lost along the road.
You know in this life expectations will always kill you, always. So I don’t have any expectations.
In my head I was replying a scene when Tere made me breakfast when I went to Ferrara, she cut the fruits and stopped at some point when we nod together that in any continent “Human being is still human being wherever they were”. We are all human.
The first reflection would be : in this world there is so little thing we can control.
Like I want to go to Milan by the train, I wouldn’t know that the train will gonna break down or not, I wouldn’t know there will be a creepy guy that stalk me from Busto Arizio, I wouldn’t know that I will be stuck in Amsterdam Airport for hours due to Plane strikes and almost transiting trough London, I wouldn’t know my visa documents will took me 2 months until its all ready.
Nothing in your controls. Like nothing.
In a series of Happiness and Joy, I also have so little controls about it. I wouldn’t know that I will got 30/30 for statistics which I was struggling in bachelor degree, I wouldn’t know that our trip to Santorini is one of the best trip ever, I wouldn’t know I can have a lot of friends in Europe and really connect with them etc etc.
When we stop having expectations, its easier to live. Desi always said I was the most positive person ever, but it’s not that actually I don’t have expectations, so you can’t actually hurt me. When I complain its superficially (and I still work really hard LOL) I never take it personally because this is world and it will always disappoint you, it is how it is.
Like Rose blackpink song, “On the ground” This year I realized that I always on the ground. I was really firm already with this life and I am emotionally mature about expectations.
Well, I’m still human being and expectations is normal, especially when you actually sacrifice so much stuff for that. I would never said I can’t have expectations.. I can and I do. But in order to sustain living, I will keep it in moderation. It is just because when I have high expectations, I will be easily hurt. So better not to.
Like Murphy’s law: If something can go wrong, it will.
and probably it will always go wrong.
When I reflecting stuff again..
Do something ever happen smoothly as I wish?
I think, nothing.
When I was appointed to gave valedictorian speech on the Graduation day, I was not expecting I will do that because I refused to deleted one of the B mark on the transcript which is an optional course. Deleting the B mark will gave me final 4.00/4.00 GPA which is Summa Cumlaude. But on top of my head, I like that B subject, and I feel like I can use it somewhere later (so I need a proof that I take it), and I don’t care about being valedictorian. But I did. It was out of my control because we have dozen summa cumlaude.
When I went to South Korea for a solo trip, I found so many halal restaurants and eat chicken and meat like in the drama. and I meet very friendly group of people which makes my trip very enjoyable which is out if my controls.
When I went to China, there was a huge taifun and I think Im gonna die, but I didn’t.
There were times when I think Im gonna die, but I didn’t
So to wrap up the first reflection, I think my harsh life has shaped me to be stoic, and it helps alot.
Second Reflection - Time is not coming back
Actually I was a person without ambition and I never see myself in a spotlight like “I need to achieve this or that”, “I need to be a leader, I need to bla bla”
No, no
You know I just want to be a bear. I just want to have enough money to see a polar bear. 😂😅
But, I have firm work ethic (I think because of my dad), that I will try to give the best effort when I do stuff because otherwise it’s a waste of time.
I am a human so I have so little capabilities, but ‘just whatever’ it’s not on my work ethic. And actually you can do a good job in a short time when you have a good time management.
I don’t have time,
I said it so many times
it’s hard to say but it is an excuse 😂.
I did so many thing in my bachelor and it’s a bit tiring, so I was like “Im gonna rest, I will not do anything, I’m okay”
But, I was then come into realization that this time is short and the job market is saturated.
If I graduate doing nothing, I will be a blank paper. At least I need to connect with people and do stuff.
The time will not coming back.
I was keep postponing to do stuff, until the ecosystem is push me in ;)
being in a circle that is actually actively doing stuff is helped me a lot to be productive and not create an excuse to slack off (well actually I need to help myself 😂)
Pancakes is a wonderful ecosystem. Een has a fulltime job, Desi created content and she got so many PRs, Israa have classes, two masters going on and skincare club, and Vale went to the lab!
They created their own pathaway already, and there was me.
So after couple months with nothing, I try to get a grip of myself. Okay I need to do something meaningful aswell.
Desi helped me to land to the part time job that I was in, I tried to apply for the volunteering organization (which one of the interview was done in Paris McD - Thanks Yoce, Evi, Raissa for being patient 😂).
I remembered, I almost did the interview walking 😂 or in the corner of Paris street because it was in the middle of the night but they were kind enough to and forced me by saying we can stop by somewhere for your interview.
When I looked back, How if, I didn’t travel with them? Who the hell gonna be patient with your freakin volunteering interview in the middle of winter holiday?
The most beautiful thing is they didn’t judge me too because “you are freakin ambi” no no. Solid ecosystem, thank God.
Then, after a while, I have a job, I volunteer, I help my friends organizing events, I write paper, I go out, I travel to so many places so may countries every single weekend, I sleep, well.. it’s possible.
I need to sacrifice some stuff but when I look back, I did okay.
The impossible thing is probably priority 😂. I still work on that but I realized I keep making excuses for myself which is not good.
You know Allah won’t help people unless they tried it themselves. I always tell people that what meant for us will be for us, but we need to knock the door😉. If I do nothing how I will get something, I was just making an excuse.
To sum up, my ecosystem makes me sustain doing a favor to myself. I will keep it. I will try to enjoy stuff so I don’t feel like it’s a burden.
Third Reflection - Travel Planning Skills as The Most Useful Ever
For me travel and broke it’s not an option.
If you are broke you can’t travel.
Because for me.. life is not as romantic as instagram reels that said, “I will got my money back but not this time”
Well its technically true, but like a very famous book psychology of Money. They sell you stuff by playing with your emotion.
Its a brain tactic, and I have enough I’m not gonna buy that.
But, I did travel planning for audit for the past 4 years. I knew how to look for the deals, enjoy stuff without being broke, is it possible? It is because in the company eye you need to be efficient and effective.
Is it enjoyable, yes ofc😗. Are you broke? No.
Planning is the the key, to be honest.
If you are going in 2 weeks hasn’t book anything you basically will spend way more money than when you book something way earlier (especially in the high season).
We got a deal from Santorini to Milan for 9€. So it’s possible. When we went to Paris for the first time we stay in 17€/per person/night hotel which is super cheap.
So from September 2021-now I went to: Paris twice, Rotterdam, Lisse and Amsterdam, Luxembourg, Zurich, Venice, Padova, Naples, Rome, Aosta, Turin, Milan (was not counted), Vienna, Lugano, Ferrara, Bologna twice, Orta, Garda, Maggiore twice, Como twice, Belaggio, Athens, Santorini etc etc etc.
I was just realized that the audit planning skills its very useful and safe me bucks.
To sum up: I enjoy planning stuff,
Oh, one thing about traveling! I try to be more stoic when traveling.
In Europe the countries are small (Im shocked 😅) so to get around is very easy, and I just realized how big is my country.
I just realized .. that was the reason why the colonizer wants to break us so badly.. its due to the fact they can’t accept we live priviledgely in the equator with 17 thousands islands 😂😂. With all the sea, the beach that they enjoy the most, the soils that can grow anything, whatever happen in this world we won’t starve and we won’t die due to the cold.
It’s about a journey not an accomplishments. It’s about learn something, meeting people, get into culture and trying stuff and realizing stuff.
This is also gonna be my forth reflection- Indonesia is the most previledge country ever.
Well, I love Luxemburg LOL.
Because of the war, Europe is energy crisis and they bought the Coal, from where? Indonesia. Indonesia will help European trough all these energy crisis because they were 4 season, they need a lot of energy especially in the winter.
I drink cappuccino every morning, where did the coffee come from? Indonesia.
Europe has biofuel crisis, why? Because Indonesia stopped selling them the vegetable oil. Biofuels use mainly in industries, so when you didn’t have it the supply chain will broke and a country can collapse.
When I was here, I never think I will appreciate my country more than ever.
People always long to go the beach. For me I was like, “I can always go in 30 minutes”back home driving from home, and its like a private white sandy beach because we have so many beaches which are so beautiful.
But here, place near the beach is freakin expensive 😂😅 (it’s always the most expensive place). Then I realized that I live in the most expensive place ever according European. Which now I feel grateful for.
Back home I have a huge garden which we always eat from the garden.. fresh spinach, fresh buttermelon, chili, papaya, orange, we have everything 😂. I always eat fresh stuff straight from the garden so its hard for me to eat the frozen stuff, even the fishes is straight from the ocean and when we buy them some of them still alive. We have harvestmoon life which is now Im very grateful for.
Indonesia is not perfect, but we won’t die starving or cold. We didn’t need to be worried every single winter that the gas prices gonna be increased.
and actually we also blessed with Melanin which is now Im very grateful for. Europe now is freakin hot and my melanin is helping me to protect my DNA so I will be the forever-young-Asian. We are blessed. We do. We need to see the world so we won’t feel inferior.
Another thing is, Indonesia has growing population where every single country almost got their population system depleted. I think this is due to the social construction in Indonesia which is I think a bit different than any other country. We also a huge muslim population, is there anything to do with the growing population? Yes, we have firm marriage system and tawakkal (We just taking part in this world by doing the best, God will do the rest) in life so people more eager to have kids.
Now at this year, this points of life I’m so happy that I was born in Indonesia. I don’t care if they called us third world, they can say so.
I was thinking that those naming stuff is made by envy.
Remember back then you came to us looking for spices because it’s cold, now its cold again because you guys dont have the energy, the history repeat itself. But we are there just there, we can survive.
On the way to Florence 23/07/2022
First year of EMOTION with a lot of EMOTION
But I am growing as a person and I’m super grateful to people that I came across the way this year.
